Now and Then
by leighB26
Summary: Exactly 18 months ago today had been the best day of Aria Fitz's life. She had been at a beautiful villa in Tuscany, wearing a stunning white lace dress, and tying the knot with the man she had loved since she was 16 years old. Her life with Ezra was officially starting and she couldn't be happier. But now, Aria couldn't even remember what happy felt like. Ezria wedding ONE-SHOT


Exactly 18 months ago today had been the best day of Aria Fitz's life. She had been at a beautiful villa in Tuscany, wearing a stunning white lace dress, and tying the knot with the man she had loved since she was 16 years old. After an intimate ceremony, she and her new husband walked along the grounds and talked about what they wanted out of life. They talked about travelling, getting a dog, having children, and growing old together and retiring to some fishing village in Iceland. In those moments, Aria's heart had never felt so full. Her life with Ezra was officially starting and she couldn't be happier.

But now, Aria couldn't even remember what happy felt like. All she felt was pain. Her insides shriveled and her legs felt numb. Never in her life did she expect something that had once brought her so much joy to bring her so much hurt. She'd been through more than anyone should in her short life, but this…she'd never experienced anything like this. Nothing could have prepared her for the steady stream of agony that was ripping through her body. She would consider herself lucky if she made it out of this alive.

She'd known this was coming for months. Anyone with a brain could've told her that this would eventually end. Just like anyone with a brain could've told her how badly it would hurt when it did. They'd warned her against the decision she had made. Her mother, her friends, hell, even her boss had told her that she was making a mistake. But like always, Aria wouldn't listen. She wanted to believe that they were wrong, that they were just trying to scare her into changing her mind. But Aria was Aria. And Aria was stubborn. She ignored their advice. Now, she wished she hadn't.

As the end drew near, her mother, Ella, preached her words of wisdom like a sermon anytime Aria was in her presence. "Think about a time in your life when you were truly happy. That will help ease the pain. Your mind can be a very powerful thing, especially in times like this. Don't let the negativity win."

Right now, the negativity was winning.

Her body felt like it was on fire. Every emotion, every feeling was coursing through her veins and clouding her thoughts. She couldn't even see straight, let alone think straight. Had she not already been lying down, her legs would've given out by now.

A single tear rolled down her cheek and dripped onto the bed beneath her. Had Ezra seen it, he would've wrapped her in his arms and held her until he was certain the pain went away. But he hadn't seen her. He hadn't been looking. He hadn't been looking at her face for awhile now.

Another tear pooled at her ducts, but this time, she wouldn't let it fall. She blinked once, twice, three times, and it was gone, but not without leaving something else in its place.

Tattooed on the back of her eyelids, Aria saw a sunset. Bands of pink, gold, and purple painted lazily across the sky as the sun seemingly sank below the water on the horizon. If she looked to the left, there were rolling hills and houses that looked like the ones in foreign romance flicks. If she looked to her right, there was a vineyard that stretched on for acres.

Tuscany…18 months ago to the day.

 _The air was still. Aria's heart was not. She could feel it pounding against her chest at what felt like a million miles a minute – and every time she looked down at the ring on her finger, she could feel it beating a million times more._

 _None of this felt real yet. Not the impromptu escape to this villa on a hill. Not her marriage to Ezra. Nothing. But it was real. All of it. And that was the best part. That was what had her heart going crazy and her thoughts bouncing incoherently around her head._

 _Well…that and the amazing sex she and Ezra had just had._

 _From her place on the balcony, Aria turned her head just enough to see Ezra's reflection in the sliding glass door separating her from the inside space. He was lying in bed, the sheets pulled over his hips and his stare directed at her. By the small smile that ghosted his lips, Aria could tell that he was thinking he same thing she had. "We're actually married. This can't be real."_

 _When he caught her eye, he silently asked if he could join her outside. She nodded. He grinned._

 _In a matter of seconds, Ezra had his arms wrapped tightly around Aria's waist and was pressing kisses along her neck. Aria moaned softly and leaned back into his frame. She was so tiny compared to him. That wasn't a new concept, but it was one she usually tried to ignore. However, in this instance, their height difference couldn't have made her happier._

 _But then again, nothing could've made her happier than she was right then. She was on cloud 9 and didn't plan on coming down anytime soon._

" _You're my wife," Ezra whispered lowly in her ear before nipping at her earlobe with his teeth._

" _Is_ that _what I agreed to be?" Aria teased, making a face of faux-uncertainty although Ezra didn't see._

" _Mhmm," Ezra mused. He pushed the soft fabric of the robe that covered her shoulder down slightly so that he could gain access to more of her skin. "And now you're stuck with me and there's nothing you can do about it."_

 _Aria giggled and let her head fall back onto his chest._

 _Beneath the sounds of his lips smacking against her skin, there was the faintest thud…like a heartbeat. Ezra's heartbeat. It was slower than hers. Clearly, he'd recovered from their adult activities and the high of "I do" a lot quicker than she had. It wasn't surprising. Ezra had a tendency to recoup quicker in most situations, be it of the heart, mind, body, or all three. It was part of what made Aria fall in love with him in the first place. He knew how to reign in his emotions so that he could help her keep hers in check as well._

 _A few more thumps pulsed rhythmically from his chest, incidentally coaxing her heartbeat to sync to his. Within in seconds, their hearts were beating at one, steady tempo. In that moment, Aria decided that that was her new favorite sound. It was a sign of his life, and of his love – two things Aria couldn't live without._

" _I wrote you something," Aria broke the silence after a few long minutes._

" _You did? When?" Ezra unattached his mouth from her body and maneuvered around her so that he was standing beside her, leaning against the railing._

" _On the plane while you were asleep," Aria smirked._

 _After finally deciding on an elopement, the two wasted no time on purchasing tickets and getting the hell out of Rosewood. Less than 48 hours after the initial suggestion of running away to Italy to get hitched, they were on a plane with two weeks of Heaven in their future, and a lifetime of Hell in their rearview._

 _They'd made a quick break from the town for two reasons. One, Rosewood was a town with it's own gravity. It was next to impossible to defy it, and Aria found herself holding her breath, awaiting what she thought to be the inevitable turn around, until the flight took off. And two, they were just really excited to get married. So because of these things, the couple spent hours searching for affordable tickets and good flight times as well as rental cars. They packed their bags as quickly and efficiently as they could, making sure not to forget anything important like passports or…the dress._

 _Their prep time flew by like a whirlwind, leaving no time for either one of them to take a seat or even give a second thought to what they were doing. By the time they got on the plane, they were both in desperate need of a nap – and no sooner than the plane got in the air did Ezra pass out on Aria's shoulder. But instead of joining him in his slumber, Aria decided to seize his bout of sleepiness and write out her vows to him. She knew they'd probably say the generic ones at the actual ceremony, but she wanted these things to be said too. She would just have to wait until the perfect time._

" _What is it?" Ezra gazed up at her with inquisitive eyes._

" _My vows to you." Aria wasted no time by beating around the bush._ This _was the perfect time. The sun was setting. Everything around them was beginning to fade into nothing but a silhouette with a soft halo around the edges. They were_ married. _To let this moment slip away without saying something profound would be a waste. She needed to say this and he needed to hear it._

" _Vows? You wrote your own?" Ezra had been caught off guard and the expression on his face told her that he suddenly felt guilty about not writing any specifically for her. "I wish I'd known. I would've…"_

" _Stop," Aria chastised gently. "I didn't write these to one up you in the marriage game and I didn't write them so that you would write some for me. I just wrote them because I love you and I want you to know exactly how much." As she spoke, she took his hands in hers and pressed their bodies up against each other. "Is that okay?" She leaned up, holding her lips just centimeters from his, knowing that he couldn't say no to her in this position._

" _Okay," Ezra shrugged before pecking her lips and smiling like an idiot afterwards._

" _Take a seat, Fitz. It's long," Aria instructed as she pulled her cell phone out of her robe pocket. "I know using my phone isn't the most romantic thing. I promise, I'll transcribe it onto paper later so we can put it in a scrapbook or something, but typing it out was the most convenient way of doing it on the plane."_

" _It's more romantic than what I prepared for you, which was, you know, nothing," Ezra chuckled as he lowered himself onto one of the deck chairs._

 _Aria rolled her eyes, unsure if Ezra was ever going to let go of the fact that she had finally done something more romantic for him first and expected nothing in return. Usually he was the ones behind these grand gestures and she was the one left speechless. She was kind of glad the tables had turned. He'd done so much for her, it was about time she did something for him._

" _Shut up and listen," Aria winked._

" _Whatever you say, Mrs. Fitz," Ezra smirked._

 _Aria couldn't help the smile that crept onto her lips at his mention of her new title. She could get used to that._

" _Ezra Michael Fitz…" She began, feeling Ezra's eyes burning into her skin as he watched and listened with intent._

" _I have loved you since I was 16 years old. But you…you already knew that. I thought about rewording our story, but then I remembered, you already knew that too. You've been there through every kiss, every promise, every break up, every secret exposed…everything. Because this wasn't just my relationship, it was yours too. And it would be silly to just tell you what you already know. So, I'm going to tell you what you don't know._

" _After I left Snooker's on the day we met, I went home and listened to every love song I owned on repeat. I couldn't stop smiling. When my parents asked me what I was so happy about, I lied and told them I was just excited to be home and see my friends again. I couldn't tell them the truth – that I had just met a college graduate and made out with him in the bathroom at a bar I shouldn't have been in. I couldn't tell them that…that I may have just fallen in love for the first time. I was 16. What did I know about love? The answer to that question, not a lot. But Ezra, you taught me way more than English that year. You taught me everything I knew about love…everything I_ know _about love. Starting with the fact that love at first sight is totally, 100% possible._

" _What I have with you is the most real and honest thing in my life. Do those words sound familiar? They should. You said them to me the night before we thought Noel Kahn was going to expose us to the principal. I've clung to those words ever since then. Even…even after I found out about the book. You'd said them with such passion, such truth that I knew you had meant them when you said them. And I mean them as I'm saying them to you._

" _You're my soul mate, Ezra. I firmly believe that. There is no one else out there for me. You're it. You're the one, and that's something I've known for years. In fact, this is kind of embarrassing, but I used to doodle 'Aria Fitz' in my journals because I really believed that one day I would be your wife. And look where we are now."_

 _At this point, Aria wasn't looking at her phone screen anymore. She didn't need to look at a bunch of typed words in order to remember what she needed to say, what she wanted to say. She'd had these words and feelings bottled up inside of her for years, she'd just never had the chance to say them before today._

" _I won't lie. I had my doubts at some points. Mostly during college. I dated around. I knew you had Nicole. I hoped out paths would cross again, but I wasn't so sure they would. I had a hard time letting you go. I compared every guy I went out with to you. I chose to go out guys with brown hair and blue eyes just because they reminded me of you physically. It took years for me to finally move on, and even then, I'm not so sure I did. I mean, look at Liam. He looked a lot like you. My mom called it having a type. I called it still being in love with you._

" _I never…I never fell out of love with you. I think I was eventually able to silence the fire that roared in my heart whenever I thought about you, but I could never extinguish it. And now I understand why._

" _When I kissed you, after we found out about our being being published…it wasn't an accident. I'd wanted to do that since I saw you again. I just used the emotional high of that moment as an excuse._

" _You told me during your, uh, first, proposal that seeing me again allowed you to breathe again. I'm not sure I could've said it better myself. Seeing you again, it was like that moment, right after the climax of a book – where everything starts to settle down and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. You know you're close and you know everything is going to be okay._

" _And that's how I feel when I'm with you. I know that everything is going to be okay as long as you're around. You're not only my soul mate, you're my knight in shining armor. You're the light of my life. You're…my everything. And I love you. And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."_

 _Ezra was standing now. He had been since she told him that she'd never fallen out of love with him. But like the respectful man that he was, he stayed in his place and said nothing until he was sure she was finished speaking._

" _That's it," Aria said lamely, letting him know that her monologue had officially come to an end._

" _Aria, I…" Ezra shook his head as he tried to formulate an appropriate response to what she'd just said. But the truth was, there wasn't one. What she'd told him wasn't meant to be followed by more heartfelt words. It was meant to be followed by heartfelt action. So that's exactly what he did._

 _In two moves, Ezra was pressed up against Aria once again, this time, cupping her face with his hands and brushing her hair out of her eyes with his thumbs._

" _Make love to me," She whispered._

" _Aria."_

" _Aria."_

" _Aria?"_

"Aria?"

The pain was back, this time more excruciating than ever. Had her body allowed it, she might've laughed at the irony of what had just happened. She'd been taken back to the bliss of her wedding day for a brief moment, only to be slammed more harshly with reality upon her mental return.

"Ahhhhh," Aria screamed, throwing her head back on the pillow behind her.

"Aria, breathe," Ezra coaxed from what felt like the opposite end of the world, but was really the other end of the bed.

"We," Aria breathed. "Are. Never." Another breath. "Having. Sex." Another breath. "Again." Breath. "You hear me?"

Ezra chuckled and placed a hand on her knee, an action that made Aria want to castrate him right then and there. "Whatever you say, sweetheart. I thought you were happy about this?"

"I'm the furthest thing from," She winced, stopping her sentence abruptly for a second. "Happy. So please, shut the fuck, ahhhhhhh." She yelled again, gripping the bedrail with a strength she didn't even know she possessed.

"Mrs. Fitz, it's time to start pushing."

Exactly 18 months ago today had been the best day of Aria Fitz's life. However, at 6:31 pm on April 10th, 2016, that day all those months ago became the _second_ best day of her life.

 **A/N: Thank you guys so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed.**

 **After the proposal, I kind of wished that Aria had confessed her love to Ezra in the same way he did for her, but that never happened. So instead of being upset, I made it happen here. Let me know your thoughts by reviewing! I love to hear what you guys have to say so don't be shy.**

 **Also, huge thank you to bettertoflee for motivating me to actually finish this one shot. Without her, I probably would've procrastinated at least another week on this.**

 **For those of you reading "Of Playgrounds and Parenthood", I do still plan to update Wednesday.**

 **Once again, thank y'all for reading! Please review!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


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